Say It





As promised....here are my top 10 things that I believe are helpful to say when someone you love is going through difficult times. 

1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…
6. I am always just a phone call away
7. Give a hug instead of saying something
8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
10. Saying nothing, just be with the person

Don't let the fear of saying the wrong things stop you. That's why I love the second statement. It expresses that you care without trying to fix the person or their pain. We can be supportive and show care without fixing it. Often deep suffering can not be simply explained away or fixed with words. 

We should also asked our people how they are doing even if outward appearance tells us they are fine. I have come to learn that many of us hide our pain well. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. 

Also what I mentioned in my last post. Just show up with everyday items, leave at their front door and then walk away. Unless of course they ask you to stay. 

Empathy is a powerful thing. Some people come by it naturally. Others don't. But the good news is that we can learn to be empathic. Brené Brown has this great video on empathy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

And with that I will end this post. Again, if I missed something or you would like to discuss it more please reach out. I would love to hear from you! 

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